As a neurodivergent author and neurodiversity-affirming writing coach, I often hear stories from other creative types about struggles with work-life balance and finding time for their creative work.
Just so you know where I’m coming from, I can’t stand the phrase “work-life balance.” It implies that “work” isn’t a part of “life,” but somehow is a separate affair. It also implies that “life” (such as parenting) isn’t “work.” Both of those statements are false.
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The Week of the Shrinking Pants
This week I’ve gotten exactly zero words written in my new book manuscript. None. It can feel really bad when you can’t make space for the work that you actually enjoy doing.
Where has the time gone? For me, it’s gone to family obligations, like making sure my growing teens have pants that are long enough.
For real, my thirteen-year-old is now five-foot-nine, and his older brother shot up to five-eight a year ago. How is that possible? And the doctors tell me they’re supposed to have a second growth spurt when they’re 16 or 17? Managing pants in this house is a full-time job.
Then, last night, the teens wanted to watch The Terminator with me (one of my top-5 favorite movies and one of the best films ever made). I couldn’t possibly say no to doing all of my favorite things: snuggling with the young one, nerding out with both of them, and impressing them with my recitation of all the dialogue?
You can’t, nor should you, say no to a perfect evening with those you love.
But what about that voice in the back of your head that says, “You aren’t producing enough?” We have to shut that down.
Say No To Productivity Hacks
The very idea of “productivity” implies that being productive is a good thing.
“Well, isn’t it, Katie?”
The answer is, “Not in the way that we think.” Productivity, as a concept, is focused on outcomes—that is, products. But if we focus only on products, we get bad products…and unhealthy people.
If you are neurodivergent, then you must be extra careful with productivity pressure.
To start with, I’m not a fan of typical habit-tracking and productivity “hacks.” If you are neurodivergent, they probably won’t work for you anyway.
If you struggle with anxiety, for example, focusing on output just makes anxiety worse.
If you are an ADHDer, then you need something different than just another checklist system. The last one didn’t work, and this one won’t either. Most just aren’t designed for neurodivergent brains.
Worst of all, if you focus on productivity the way our uber-capitalist society encourages us to do—the voice in your head that demands more, more more—then you will burn out. If you are neurodivergent, then you will burnout faster. Burnout is an emergency, and the only cure is to stop working altogether until you are healed.
We really don’t want to burn out.
Life Isn’t About the Product
I say we reframe what it means to be productive, separating it from “products.” Here is a list of things that should be considered “productive” for writers and other creative people (that’s you!):
- Reading a book that inspires you. (There are never enough books to feed your creativity.)
- Writing or sketching in your notebook. (Strongly recommend.)
- Taking a walk to ponder complex ideas that you want to wrap your brain around. (Then reflecting about it in your notebook.)
- Talking with a friend about an idea you’re struggling with. (Then reflecting about it in your notebook.)
None of these things are productive in a linear fashion. But if you don’t feed your creative spirit, then your creative spirit will tell you to shove it when you ask for something in return.
The way “productivity” is sold to us is a lie. Life isn’t all about the product. Creativity isn’t either. Both creativity and life are about something else: love.
Yes, love.
For me, creativity=love means that I pay attention to the important things that I have done this week, even if I didn’t write a word in my new book:
- I made sure my family had clothing.
- I bought holiday gifts so that we won’t be rushing at the last minute, which is the worst.
- I wrote a lot of reflections in my notebook.
- I did a lot of thinking about how I want to pivot my creative work in 2025 so that I can embrace what I love most of all: writing and helping others to be great writers.
Neurodiversity Essential Reads
And look! I wrote this thing you’re reading now. This piece is writing that is a traditional product. But it came by accident when I was noodling around with the other things on that supposedly non-productive list above.
Boundaries Are Essential
What most of this advice comes down to is the same old thing: boundaries. We have to set boundaries against both the expectations of society and against the local demands on our time.
Setting boundaries so that you have time to be creative is essential. If you are neurodivergent and therefore typically have less energy to wade through nonsense, you need really strong boundaries.
For example, I use the 7-out-of-10-effort rule when I am feeling overwhelmed. The rule put a stop to the Great Pants Debacle of 2024 and reclaimed my creativity time.
The outcome of the 7-out-of-10-effort rule looks like this: The kids have pants now because I bought 10 pairs of joggers in different colors from Old Navy, which is all they want to wear anyway, and called the job done. This solid 7-out-of-10 performance gave me time to write what you’re reading now.
Now What?
Here are some questions to help you use what you’ve read here in your own life.
- What does your work-life balance feel like?
- What do you do when you feel unproductive?
- Are you afraid you might burn out soon? Could you be burned out now?
- How can you set up boundaries to protect your creativity time?