“It was fear that made him bold.” –Ovid
Anxiety and Fear
In today’s world, where mental health awareness is more prominent than ever, there is still a great deal of confusion and misinformation about fear. From well-intentioned but misguided self-help advice to complex and often contradictory psychological theories, it can be difficult for individuals to know where to turn for clear, practical solutions.
When we face what frightens us, we tap into a reserve of inner strength that we may not have known existed (Gibson, 2023; Nardone and Portelli, 2004; Frankl, 1959). This strength propels us forward, forcing us to stretch beyond our perceived limits and, in doing so, allows us to grow. One of the most significant misconceptions about fear is that it inevitably diminishes our strength in life. In truth, fear is not inherently negative. Fear serves a functional role in our lives, warning us of potential dangers and helping us to navigate risky situations (LeDoux, 2015).
However, fear becomes problematic when we fail to manage it effectively. Avoiding what frightens us only strengthens the hold fear has over us (Rachman, 2013). In many cases, the more we avoid facing our fears, the larger they grow, expanding beyond their original context and taking root in various aspects of our lives (Craske & Barlow, 2006). These fears then linger in the background of our lives and relationships, influencing our thoughts, behaviours, and emotions, often without us even realising it. Fear is one of the most fundamental and instinctive emotions humans experience, and it often arises without invitation, catching us off guard and overwhelming us with a force that seems beyond our control (LeDoux, 1996), as can be seen in panic attacks (Gibson, 2023). Unlike courage, which requires conscious effort and intention, fear enters our lives effortlessly (Gray, 2013). We are all biologically programmed to react to perceived threats, whether real or imagined (Beck & Emery, 1985), and so fear and our reactions to it are kind of inevitable. This primal response, commonly known as the “fight or flight” mechanism, has been essential for our survival as a species (Cannon, 1915); however, its spontaneous reaction can become the trigger for an anxiety disorder if it is mishandled.
The Invented Reality of Fear
Fear is not always grounded in immediate danger. Our minds have an extraordinary ability to blur the lines between reality and illusion, creating fears that may have no foundation in the present moment (Beck, 1976). Fear can evolve from a protective instinct into something far more consuming when left unchecked. In its most pathological form, fear is no longer anchored to an objective danger but rather to a distorted perception of reality—a reality we fabricate mentally (American Psychiatric Association, 2013). This distorted perception can lead to debilitating conditions such as phobias, generalised anxiety, and panic disorders, where fear takes on a life of its own (Clark, 1999). Ironically, we are often the architects of these fears, yet they can feel as though they have total control over us and are independent of us; we become both the inventor and the invention (Gibson, 2022, 2023; Ellis, 1962).
Avoidance is often associated with anxiety and phobias, but it is not the only way fear becomes inflated. Misunderstanding fear’s nature and attempting to resist it can paradoxically give it more power (Morita, 1927). In trying to reject what scares us, we inadvertently feed its energy, allowing it to take a stronger grip on our minds (Clark & Beck, 2010). Recognising the role fear plays and understanding its origins is essential in dismantling it. The fact that we create our fears allows us to also deconstruct them (Beck, 1976; Nardone, 1997). By confronting fear directly—rather than avoiding or resisting it—we can reclaim control over our lives. Acknowledging and facing what frightens us robs fear of much of its strength, transforming it from an overwhelming force into a manageable emotion (Nardone and Portelli, 2004; Hayes, Strosahl, & Wilson, 1999). From intense social anxieties to fears of everyday objects and situations, the range of fear-based disorders is vast. However, through structured interventions and targeted therapies, many have found that fear is not the immovable force they once believed it to be (Gibson, 2023; Rachman, 2013).
On the Futility of Emotional Control
“Trying to control the emotional self willfully by manipulative attempts is like trying to choose a number on a thrown die or to push back the water of the Kamo River upstream” (Morita, 1927). This striking metaphor captures the futility of attempting to exert control over our emotions through sheer willpower, and we should remember that such efforts are not only ineffective but also counterproductive, often exacerbating emotional distress. When individuals attempt to manipulate their emotions to avoid discomfort or pain, they end up intensifying their suffering. By failing to accept the natural ebb and flow of emotional experience, people may find themselves trapped in a cycle of frustration and agony, overwhelmed by the very feelings they sought to suppress.
In general, the stronger we desire something, the more we want to succeed, and the greater our anxiety about failure. The human condition is such that there is an inseparable link between desire and anxiety. Our worries and fears are natural byproducts of the things we deeply care about and, as such, are essential aspects of our psychological makeup. To rid ourselves of these anxieties would be both impossible and unwise. Rather than resisting or attempting to eliminate these uncomfortable emotions, Morita advocates for acceptance. Our anxieties, though often distressing, are indicators of our aspirations and drive, and embracing them allows us to live more authentically and in harmony with our natural psychological rhythms.
Be Courageous
On the other hand, refusing to acknowledge fear and, therefore, managing effectively—pretending it does not exist—can be a perilous path. Denial does not make fear disappear. Instead, it drives us deeper into anxiety, perpetuating a cycle that can feel impossible to break. There is no need to be ashamed of fear, nor should we see it as a weakness. If anything, fear can serve as a wellspring of strength. Embracing our vulnerability and confronting what frightens us head-on can transform fear from a source of paralysis into a force for personal growth. As we face our fears, we learn that the true essence of bravery lies not in the absence of fear but in the mastery of it (Frankl, 1959). Those who have experienced fear and confronted it are the ones who truly embody courage. Everyone else remains simply unaware of the immense power within them.
“What you lack, you must borrow from yourself.” –Cato