Source: Oleksandr P / Pexels
Unbelievably, we’re almost back to school. This is also the time that children and youth (and parents) may start to feel unsure or anxious about the transition. Below are some ways to support students’ ability to transition, thrive, and engage at school:
1. Setting up for success: As school starts up, developing a child’s or teen’s ability to reflect on their learning approach can set them up for success. This concept allows students to reflect on their understanding of the material and how they learn. Helpful questions to develop metacognition include “How efficient am I as a learner right now?” “Why did I do well? Did I succeed because I worked hard and used appropriate strategies on this task?” “What did I learn from my mistakes?”
This method of reflection has been well-researched and found to be a strong predictor of critical thinking, adaptive functioning, and stronger academic achievement. A recent study by Tibken and colleagues found metacognition predicted the development of school achievement in both gifted and non-gifted students. This research helps shed light on why some gifted students tend to underachieve at school.
2. Emotion check-ins: Some anxiety is normal as changes and transitions are happening. However, if this anxiety gets in the way of daily functioning (child or teen refusing to go to school), reaching out for support with a clinician is important. Some helpful ways to help cope with day-to-day anxiety is for families to be open and explore these feelings and what may be worrying them. Ways to do this can be found in my previous post.
3. Parents modeling calm: As challenging as it may be, children (and teens) look to their parents to gauge how to respond in potentially frightening and new situations. This does not mean that parents should hide their emotions from their children. Rather, sharing that they may be feeling nervous while modeling calming strategies (for example, deep breathing, or taking a walk) can be a powerful way for children and youth to feel validated and supported. Neuroscience research has found this mindful parenting contributes to stronger prefrontal cortex functioning, responsible for decision-making and regulation of thoughts, emotions, and behaviour.
4. Routines: We thrive on routines, which provide us with predictability and security. Talk about what to expect when returning to school and write out a school routine for you both to be aware and feel prepared. Depending on your child’s needs, you may wish to focus on parts of the routine that feel more challenging for your child. For instance, if getting ready in the morning is difficult, breaking down steps to follow (getting dressed, brushing teeth) can be a helpful guide for your child to follow. Starting to practice some of these routines a few weeks before school starts (regular bedtime) can be a helpful way to support the transition to back-to-school.
5. Comprehension check-ins allow parents and teachers to gain a sense of the child’s understanding. If things are unclear, a pause and presenting instructions differently can be helpful. Checking in also promotes active recall and long-term memory of the information. Last, but certainly not least, this way of checking in can help reduce frustration along the way with the work, both for parents/ teachers and for the students!
6. Problem-solving together: In listening to your child, there may be things that arise that can benefit from some problem-solving. Together with your child, you can make a plan and figure out a good solution to these issues. For example, if your child is feeling nervous about going back to school, you can talk about what the child can expect at school (for example, teachers, other students, what does the classroom look like?) and practice some relaxation exercises to help your child feel more confident in using these when attending school. If possible, it is helpful to find a trusting adult or friend at school who can support your child if needed. Some schools also offer “quiet space” rooms where children can go when feeling overwhelmed.
7. Keep things positive: It is important to praise the effort and the things your child has done well in transitioning back to school, no matter how small. As parents, we want to focus on our children’s strengths and reward their resilience with praise (and perhaps a small treat) to make them feel good about their efforts too. Being specific in this praise helps your child build more mindfulness around the things that are going well for them and build confidence. For example, you may praise the way that they were able to take some deep breaths when feeling nervous or the way they got themselves ready independently.
A version of this post also appears here.