Taboo topics—like those about sex—are known to mingle with a lot of misconceptions. Case in point, there are a lot of myths about female sexual health and dysfunction—and that’s a problem. These myths and misconceptions spread harmful misinformation and increase feelings of shame, creating barriers to healthy sexual expression, care, and support. Dispelling these sexual health myths and focusing on the facts are important steps in promoting healthy attitudes toward sexuality, as well as in improving sexual health and well-being.
It’s time to bust these sexual myths:
1. Myth: Female sexual dysfunction is rare.
Fact: Between 30 and 50 percent of sexually active women experience sexual dysfunction, including the following:
- Low libido or desire (female sexual interest/arousal disorder)
- Difficulty achieving orgasm (female orgasmic disorder)
- Pain during sex (genito-pelvic pain/penetration disorder)
These conditions can affect women of all ages and backgrounds.
Tip: Seek professional help. If sexual problems are causing distress or impacting your quality of life, seek support from your primary care physician (PCP), obstetrician/gynecologist (OB/GYN), or mental health professional. Your PCP or OB/GYN can help identify an underlying medical condition or hormonal imbalances, while a sex therapist can help with strategies that may be contributing to low desire or pain.
2. Myth: Female sexual problems are all in your head.
Fact: Sexual health is influenced by physical, emotional, social, and environmental factors. Some medical conditions or medications can contribute to sexual dysfunction. Mental health conditions, like anxiety and depression, as well as their treatment, can also impact sexual functioning. Furthermore, relationship issues and a history of trauma or abuse can lead to sexual dysfunction, and these experiences can affect each person differently.
Tip: Always see a health care provider to rule out any physiological problems—but don’t leave the sex therapy out! A sex therapist can assess the underlying causes of your problems, provide education about anatomy and sexual responses, and develop personalized treatment plans. These can include techniques, exercises, and resources to enhance sexual pleasure, intimacy, and satisfaction.
If you’ve had traumatic experiences with sex or any kind of abuse, a licensed mental health professional can help you work through that trauma in a healthy way.
3. Myth: Women have less sexual desire than men.
Fact: Sexual interest can vary widely among both men and women. Variation in sexual desire is normal and may not necessarily indicate a problem. Desire is influenced by several factors, many of which are out of our control, like our hormones and medical conditions, as well as relationship dynamics, one’s own personal preferences, stress, and fatigue. It’s important to recognize that fluctuations in sexual desire are common, as are differences in sexual desire between partners.
Tip: Sexual desire is different for everyone and can change over time and in different circumstances. Feeling more or less desire than a partner does not necessarily mean that there is a problem. Each woman’s experience of sexual desire is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. Sex therapy can help couples navigate differences in libido through open communication and compromise so they can meet each other’s needs and maintain a satisfying sexual connection.
4. Myth: Pain during sex is normal for women.
Fact: Pain during sex (dyspareunia) is not normal and should never be ignored. Just like how you would go to your doctor for other types of pain, like abdominal pain or a headache, you should also seek care if you’re experiencing pain during sex. A health care provider can determine the underlying causes that could be related to medical conditions (e.g., vaginal infections, pelvic inflammatory disease, endometriosis, vulvodynia, vaginal atrophy), musculoskeletal issues, or hormonal changes, while a therapist can help with factors related to mental health or relationship issues.
Tip: Health care providers, physical therapists, and mental health professionals can all help you tackle your pain—so make sure to seek professional help. Open and honest communication with a partner about pain during sex is also essential for maintaining intimacy and ensuring mutual understanding and support. Discussing concerns, preferences, and boundaries can help alleviate anxiety and create a safe and supportive environment. Experimenting with alternative sexual activities that do not involve penetration can also help maintain sexual intimacy.
5. Myth: Aging leads to a decline in female sexual function.
Fact: Hormonal changes associated with aging can affect sexual function for women. However, many older adults continue to enjoy satisfying and fulfilling sexual experiences. The key to maintaining sexual well-being as people age is staying in tune with the body, mind, and partnerships. This requires open communication, regularly checking for hormonal changes and getting treatment, and exploring new forms of intimacy.
Tip: Addressing changes in sexual desire during menopause requires staying on top of one’s health in other ways—like having regular hormone checks and maintaining open communication with partners. It can be helpful to also explore new ways to experience pleasure, whether alone or with a partner. Explore extended foreplay, sensual touch, relaxation, emotional connection, and erotic exploration to help boost sexual pleasure and satisfaction.
Understanding and addressing the many influences on female sexual health helps make women’s sexual well-being a top priority. Encouraging open communication, challenging myths, providing accurate information, and reducing stigma can help empower women to prioritize their sexual health and pleasure and seek help when needed. You don’t have to do this alone. Sex therapy can offer a supportive and nonjudgmental space to explore sexual concerns and desires, improve communication and intimacy, and cultivate satisfying sexual relationships.