Over a lifetime, most people will experience a situation when they are terrified about an outcome going terribly wrong. A state of uncertainty can produce symptoms of anxiety, such as an impending sense of doom or excessive worry that the worst-case scenario is most likely to occur.
Humans are uncomfortable with not knowing outcomes. Tolerating painful emotions can seem impossible, as we ride waves of worry, uncertain how our current condition will resolve. It is possible to maintain a sense of calm when we fear the worst will come true. One strategy to encourage inner peace is to normalize the difficulty of not knowing what will happen. People catastrophize about the future when they are uncertain how events in their lives will resolve. We convince ourselves in the present moment that the worst outcome will be the most likely.
Developing inner peace will involve acceptance that security in the present moment does not require knowing the future. This strategy will entail developing the mental habit of reassuring yourself that your wellness today does not require information that can only be known in the future. Thoughts that resemble “I don’t know the future, but today I am safe” can replace “What will I do if this terrible thing that I don’t want actually happens?”
Unfortunately, multiple unwanted events can happen at the same time, like having a car accident, while grieving the loss of a beloved pet, in the midst of a divorce. When major life stressors happen at once, symptoms of worry or hopelessness can seem impossible to manage. Choose thoughts that provide the best sense of security in as many moments of your life as you can. What are you thinking while driving, or completing a household task? Determine whether a thought is helpful to your current situation or if it is focused on the certainty of a catastrophic outcome. What do you tell yourself about the events in your life? Increasing psychological well-being will entail replacing doom with hope for a positive outcome. With this second strategy, one develops the habit of focusing on a future where events work out favorably by asking, “What if things are actually OK?”
Another strategy for security building is to be open to understanding your contribution, if any, to what is causing distress. When we are able to link our behavior to an unwanted event, then we can learn how to improve future decision-making. Deriving the meaning of an experience, regardless of the origin of the problem, can lead to the ability to let go of constant thoughts about suffering. “What does this change in my life mean to me?” is the best mental exercise to derive meaning. Shifting thoughts on what you can do to make improvements in your current circumstances can lead to the comfort of feeling secure. When you complete tasks that are within your power to sway a beneficial outcome, then any further worry is unnecessary and may become a barrier to feeling secure.
Our reality is constructed by focusing on thoughts in the present moment. What is true for all human beings about the future is that no one knows what will happen. We are all tasked with creating a sense of personal mental wellness while simultaneously apprehending that we don’t know future outcomes. Choosing thoughts that focus on what is secure in our lives each day will allow people in all aspects of their development to remain emotionally steady. These strategies can be effective in coping with the stress of uncertainty and I invite you to practice these security-building habits in your life.
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