Living With an Anxiety Disorder
Anxiety disorders are prevalent today. Generalized anxiety disorder, social phobias, and performance fears are on the rise, at least in part because we face a rapidly changing, high-tech, and fast-paced society. Anxiety disorders are characterized by a range of symptoms—constant worry, feelings of dread, restlessness, avoidance behavior, unexpected panic attacks, and various specific fears.
Anxiety disorders are debilitating: They affect job performance, interfere with studying and learning, and make it hard to navigate interpersonal relationships. Some people turn to unhelpful substances to control anxiety, i.e., smoking, drugs, and alcohol—but these unhealthy behaviors contribute to the poor quality of life in those who suffer from severe anxiety. There are healthier ways to stop ongoing worry.
Toss Away Irrational Thoughts
Do you believe that you or a significant person in your life is in a dangerous situation? People with anxiety often have distorted beliefs that a threat is looming.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is considered one of the most effective methods to combat anxiety. I know this personally because I have used CBT to help adults and teens in my clinic. In a nutshell, CBT re-evaluates anxiety-provoking situations as something that are not what they seem and certainly not worth giving a moment’s thought about. A review of research studies has shown that any type of psychotherapy that involves challenging negative thought patterns is probably more cost-effective than prescribed medications for treating anxiety disorders (Ophuis et al., 2017).
Try Healthy Distraction Techniques
Not everyone is able to self-correct bad thoughts. Physiological worry can be so intense that no amount of positive or rational thinking can get people with anxiety to a better place. Think about the times you were overwhelmed by uncomfortable feelings. What did anxiety feel like inside your mind and body?
Anxious distress is something all of us experience at one time or another when we entertain catastrophic thoughts about the future. Physiological distress occurs during a panic attack. Anyone can be affected by intense internal sensations, even if you have never been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. A typical response is to run away from unpleasant feelings. But rather than relying on drugs, booze, and junk food that are bad for your body, you can try many healthy behaviors to restore calm and peace.
Source: S. Geldart
The following are a few examples of good distraction techniques to ward off anxiety: abdominal or deep breathing, listening to your favorite music, physical activity like swimming or pickleball, walking in nature, calling or texting a good friend, petting your dog or cat, and so on.
Calming methods allow you to take your mind away from internal sensations and negative thoughts, at least for a while. They may not eliminate anxiety forever. Sometimes, anxiety re-appears soon after distracting ourselves from it.
So, what is the ideal way to get rid of anxiety? Feel the feelings (or, as it is sometimes called, riding out the wave of anxiety) is a strategy I recommend if you want to tone down intense anxiety for good.
Feel the Feelings: a Five-Step Technique
Generally speaking, people are reluctant to ride out the wave of anxiety. Most think it is impossible to sit with uncomfortable sensations. But let me tell you: It does work, and it has long-standing positive effects. It works well despite the initial uneasiness it produces. Therefore, let’s invest time learning this five-step strategy to have better control of strong feelings and ultimately lose that anxiety. For more details, refer to Chapter 11 in my self-help book, Alone Time: Embracing Solitude for Health and Well-Being (Geldart, 2024).
1. Find some personal space.
For this strategy to work well, try to avoid social venues or critical tasks like doing work or caregiving. Look for a quiet, comfortable space free from distractions.
2. Visually scan for danger.
Focus attention on your immediate physical surroundings. Move your head from side to side and visually scan for threats. This is a simple way to discover that all is well. You will see that you are panicking about something that is not actually a threat to your survival.
3. Understand your body’s alarm system.
Animals have an internal alarm system that keeps us safe. And even when there is no actual threat, the human brain thinks about possible problems (too much for our own good!) and thereby informs the body that danger exists. Either way—whether a real threat exists or one merely perceives it does—the result is a chain of physiological reactions and chemical changes in the body.
A big feature of the body’s alarm system is sudden, rapid breathing combined with a pounding heart—the good old sympathetic nervous system working as it should. Oxygen travels quickly to muscle tissue for speed of movement and strength. The digestive system quiets down in order to shift energy to the cardiovascular system; an unfortunate by-product of this is suddenly getting a pit in the stomach or having nausea. Body temperature fluctuates to avoid overheating during the fight-or-flight response, which results in the experience of chills and/or heat sensations. The widening of the pupils and hypervigilance help to scout danger, but they also produce uncomfortable effects, such as dizziness and poor concentration.
Below are common sympathetic nervous system responses. As you experience them, remember that these actions have the purpose of helping you—not hurting you. For helping me describe this process as a biologically adaptive response, I give credit to the pioneering work of David Barlow and his associates at the Phobia and Anxiety Disorders Clinic at the University of Albany, New York.
- Feeling tense or restless
- Faster heart rate
- Rapid breathing
- Sweating
- Trembling or chills
- Feeling muscular tiredness
- Feeling mentally exhausted
- Having trouble concentrating
- Stomach upset
4. Carry on—just feel the feelings.
Do not be afraid of these normal physiological changes. Remember, your brain just told your body that you are in a threatening situation, even when this is not the case. You are safe. No worries.
Continue to stay with uncomfortable internal sensations until they subside. They will not escalate to infinity. You will need to wait until additional changes occur to bring your body back to a normal state, which is called homeostasis in biological terms. It might take a while to calm down, so be patient.
The idea of focusing on what is happening in your body is not new. For over 2,500 years, Buddhist practices have involved moving attention around the body in a deliberate manner. These practices originated to help people learn to accept suffering, grief, and anxiety in a non-judgmental way. This is what you are doing when you ride out the wave of anxiety; that is, feel the feelings.
5. End the exercise when anxiety subsides.
Eventually, you will no longer feel distress. If you start feeling bored, then this is a good sign because it means your body has adapted. You have taken control and changed your internal state from bad to neutral. Give yourself a gentle squeeze for your bravery in trying something new and helpful to lose anxiety and live a full life again.