In my work as a voice and performance coach, as well as a therapist, I am often asked to lead workshops on public speaking. And when I do, a great deal of our time and attention is spent addressing what for many is the biggest obstacle to success in that sphere: the management of performance anxiety.
For most people, the physiological “fight, flight, or freeze” response, as well as fear stemming from egoic alignment with performance outcomes are at play. And fortunately, there are effective tools to help mitigate them, including somatic and desensitization work as well as therapeutic exploration and relocation of one’s locus of self-worth. I explore these issues and strategies at length in my books and articles, as I do with my workshops and private clients.
But the real work of lessening and even erasing performance anxiety—regardless of its causation—comes from one thing: practice.
As an example, let’s look at one of my clients who has been thriving on the speaking circuit. Rob is a fantastic speaker by every measure. He is confident and persuasive, as well as endearing. His vocal quality is rich, warm, and natural; his facial and physical affect alert yet relaxed.
He is powerful without pushing. Impactful without imposing influence.
Rob is completely comfortable on stage, with people, with his content, and within himself.
Many of these traits and he and I worked on explicitly. We spent time honing vocal rhythm and melody, as well as pacing and delivery. We focused on the techniques of breathing, presence and posture.
We also worked to expand his confidence and intra- and interpersonal comfort by correlating success not with applause and accolades. But rather, with selfless service and the ecstasy that comes from seeing the externalization of his passion impacting others.
Rob has done the work… both the physical and emotional. And both have been important.
But what really took Rob from good to great—what has brought his hard work to life—is practice.
In public speaking and other performance-related areas, practice is often a fraught concept. It is a necessity, yet one resisted by many people. And it is usually done in isolation.
The best practice, however, is varied, frequent, and frequently done in public.
Rob’s routine is a perfect example. He not only delivers his speeches at bi-weekly industry gatherings. He seeks out and says yes to every opportunity, viewing each as a gift to strengthen his performance skills and personal comfort.
He also stretches himself by practicing speeches he will never give. He memorizes and shares the poems and writings of others, as well as gives cold readings of material he sees for the first time onstage.
He extemporizes. He improvises.
By stretching beyond his specific delivery asks, he strengthens his performance pliability as well as his personal flexibility and courage. As well as accomplishes the goal of performance practice: normalizing the engagement.
Persistent practice of this kind tells our nervous system: “This is just what we do and therefore, speaking (or singing or dancing or acting) is not something that we need to be wary of.” It can then be moved in the mind from “infrequent and fear inducing” to “normal and not requiring fixated attention.”
So many people come to me nervous about speaking in public. Yet when we drill down, in many cases they’ve spent their 10,000 hours worrying about it, and only a fraction of that time actually doing it.
Those numbers need to be flipped. Not only so that we can be optimally prepared to speak. But as well, so that our well-earned comfort and confidence translate into a presence and performance that effectively delivers our most important messages.