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If you’re afraid of public speaking, you’re in good company. Over 70 percent of people fear speaking in front of others. An oft-quoted study from the ’70s claimed people are more afraid of public speaking than death. In reality, however, people report being afraid of public speaking more often than being afraid of death, but when asked to list their top fears, death is the scarier foe.
But that’s neither here nor there. Most of us are afraid to get up and talk in front of a crowd. That’s why Vice President Kamala Harris’s advice stood out to me.
In 2019, Harris told a group of teenagers that she gets over her speaking fears by imagining she’s on the Titanic and is the only one who knows it’s about to sink.
She imagines her message will save lives. How she looks or what people think about her has to take a back seat when the message and its importance take center stage. She explains:
Are you going to worry about how you look and how you sound? No, because the most important thing is that everyone knows what you know because they need to know what you know.
She also says, “It’s not about you,” which beautifully summarizes this approach to public speaking.
How can you overcome your public speaking fears?
1. Focus on your audience.
It may seem counterintuitive to focus on the audience when looking into their faces gives you a sense of dread, despair, and doom, but that’s exactly what you should be doing to overcome your public speaking fear.
You don’t have to look directly into their eyes, but you should shift your focus beyond yourself. Make it all about your audience and then talk directly to them.
Imagine that you’re talking to a friend or, like Harris recommends, to the endangered guests of the Titanic. The more you focus on the audience, the less brain space you’ll have left to worry about how you sound or whether or not you look like an idiot up there.
2. Check to see if your message is getting through.
Good public speakers adjust to their audience to ensure their message is coming through loud and clear. Take time to pause and look for head nods or listen for laughs.
If all you see are frowns and yawns, that’s good intel for you. Try to pick up your energy level or liven things up with a joke.
Pretending that the audience doesn’t exist is a surefire way to keep your speech stilted and prevent your message from landing.
Remember that it’s a conversation, a two-way street. Don’t just stand up there and yap.
3. Reframe negative thoughts.
If you’re in your head about giving a speech and can’t stop thinking about yourself, I want you to try something. Instead of thinking that everyone is thinking about you and criticizing you, remind yourself that people are probably rooting for you more than you think.
There’s something called the “liking gap” that shows that people underestimate how much others like them. In other words, people probably like you more than you believe they do. That’s great news if you tend to stare into the audience imagining how much people hate you. Turns out, it’s just not true.
We’re way harder on ourselves than others are.
So stop focusing on how you’re being perceived and get back to focusing on the task at hand—your message and its importance to the people you’re talking to.
4. Keep it in perspective.
My last-ditch effort to ease your public speaking fears is for you to remind yourself how inconsequential you are. Wait, I know this sounds like a bummer, but it’s actually liberating.
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Ultimately, your speech isn’t as important as you’re making it. Tell yourself that none of this really matters all that much, and try to throw caution to the wind and have some fun.
Lower the temperature.
Focusing on your message and the audience, not on you and your ego, can make public speaking feel way less like going down with the ship.