Source: Luis Molinero / Adobe Stock
“Hey guys, I’m not rich.” This is what my 20-year-old daughter told me that she said to her college roommates when they started picking out expensive decor to purchase.
I didn’t know it at the time, but Celeste was practicing “loud budgeting”, a recent trend among Gen Z and Millenials in which people are encouraged to prioritize their own mental and financial health and firmly express their financial limitations and boundaries. (Good for her! And, boy, I was relieved as well!)
When I shared the story with my Gen X friends, we laughed with amusement that Celeste stated her financial limitations so openly and boldly but also admired her courage and candor. How freeing to shed false pretenses and not be at the mercy of the expectations of others!
And guess what? Her roommates respected her for stating her limits and collaboratively came to an agreement on what she would cover, clearing away any chance for resentment that would harm their friendships. We could all learn from this way of acting.
Loud Budgeting—Emancipation from Financial Shame andMoney Stress
Many struggle with financial stress and financial shame in silence, which erodes mental health and creates resentment and disconnection in relationships. Loud budgeting is a way to reduce financial anxiety and boost mental health.
Loud budgeting separates worth from the ability to afford material possessions or costly experiences. It also enables people to stop meeting the expectations of others at the expense of their own well-being. Furthermore, loud budgeting exemplifies having an internal locus of control—you are in charge—rather than an external locus of control (being at the mercy of others). Having an internal locus of control improves self-esteem.
There are many benefits to loud budgeting.
- Reduced financial stress
- Reduced negative emotions such as shame, resentment, and anger
- Greater equanimity and mental calm
- Higher self-esteem and self-respect
- Improved mental health
- Improved financial health
- Clarified financial boundaries in relationships
- Financial empowerment
- Knowing how to handle awkward money pressures in relationships.
Loud budgeting can be used with many people:
The potential drawbacks include disappointing or upsetting others, which could lead to relationship conflict. However, as a therapist with 25 years of experience, I find that prioritizing one’s wellness is best, as long as it is done with respect for self and others and with compassion.
When practicing loud budgeting, it is important to:
- Take responsibility for yourself and ownership of expenses that are yours to pay, otherwise you are infringing on the financial wellness of others.
- Possess self-awareness and be mindful of the words you choose, your tone, and body language. Be diplomatic, honest, and clear. Set financial limits in person if possible, as they are usually better received than if delivered via text or messaging.
- Practice emotional intelligence in effectively resolving any conflict that arises because of the boundaries being set. Communicate assertively and collaboratively so that you can come to a win-win agreement.
- Reflect empathy and show emotional intelligence and understanding of how your loud budgeting may impact others. “I understand you probably are disappointed and upset that I can’t make it for your birthday. I really love you and hope you can understand my need to practice financial self-care.”
- Don’t operate with a victim mentality or scarcity mindset. Loud budgeting is rooted in self-worth, self-love, and conscious and compassionate collaboration.
- Understand that loud budgeting may be uncomfortable at first. You may feel shy and uncomfortable when you start loud budgeting, and you may surprise others with your new behavior. But as with anything else, with practice you will become more comfortable. What’s more, the people in your life will adjust and grow to respect your financial boundaries.
It’s fabulous that loud budgeting is now considered chic and cool, that the younger generations are brave enough to cultivate this needed change! Start practicing it today and watch your money stress decrease and your cash flow improve.