How to Work With a Busy Mind

Josh Bartok/Used with permission

Being able to think about something, turn it over in our heads, and reflect is a wonderful human ability. It allows us to plan and prepare, sort through complicated situations, and decide on meaningful actions. And, this ability to think and imagine can also lead us to feel plagued by repetitive thoughts or images that interfere with our ability to focus, be present with other people, and even to effectively problem solve.

Busy minds can arise for many reasons. We (certainly I) can develop habits of thinking, planning, and preparing that lead us to easily become “lost in thought” even when we aren’t consciously choosing this. Distressing personal or global events that challenge our sense of fairness and justice can trigger continual review and wonder as we try to make sense of them. Our efforts to plan can easily move from practical and useful to imagining all the things that might go wrong—which alarm us and trigger additional worry. Our reflections on past interactions or events can easily move from a productive integration of complex events to repetitive rumination with regret and fear that furthers our distress as we try to “fix” things.

Some of these suggestions may help to interrupt this cycle and reorient us to more satisfying uses of our minds and bodies.

Pay attention

We can’t change habits if we don’t notice them! So noticing that we’ve gotten stuck in a loop of repetitive thought is an important first step. We can find ways to pay attention to our minds that fit into our lives.

• Set aside time to develop the skill of noticing: One strategy is to set aside time for practices that involve focusing on one thing, so we notice when our minds are wandering. This is one way to build the skill of paying attention. Sitting in an upright, comfortable position and bringing awareness to the breath, counting breaths, or movement practices like yoga or tai chi can be helpful. Sometimes I find that doing something that requires concentration, like singing a song or reciting something, helps me to see how busy my mind is. When I realize that I’ve lost track of where I am in a song, I know that my thoughts have taken over.
• Bring this awareness into daily life: We can also make a habit of checking in periodically, on the hour, or when we change tasks, to see where our minds are. Or we may notice when we get distracted by our thoughts in conversation or while doing a task. It can be helpful to write down what we notice we are thinking about and then redirect our attention to the task at hand.

Pause

When we notice that our minds have taken us some place that we didn’t choose, we can take a moment to pause. This might involve taking a few deep breaths and noticing what the breath feels like in our bodies, stretching, or taking a brief walk and paying attention to the sensations as we step on one foot and then the other. Or we might look out a window, or do something else that captures our senses (e.g., smell, taste, or touch something). Pausing can keep us from reacting to the thoughts and images that are coming up for us and can let us make intentional choices instead.

Compassion not criticism

A natural reaction to noticing a busy mind or getting distracted is adding criticism on to the busyness. When I am trying to be present with someone in my life, or to get a task done, I am often frustrated with myself and my mind when I get derailed and lose focus. I can be critical in those moments, particularly given that paying attention is something I often write about. However, criticizing myself doesn’t help me to pay better attention — it just gives me something else to be distracted by. Instead, I try to add in some compassion and care for myself in the moment. This could be the way I talk to myself, or it might involve doing something that soothes me, like having a cup of tea or listening to music, if I’m in a place where that’s an option. It often includes an awareness that my mind has been drawn to something for good reason, my feelings are understandable, and I am trying to cope with uncertainty or distress as best I can. With that kindness, I can then turn my attention to what I want to choose to do.

Choose actions

Once we’ve interrupted our habit of thinking, taken note of the topic, and compassionately paused, then we can reflect on what action we want to take. If the distracting thoughts are related to a problem that we want to solve, we can set aside time to more effectively work through the problem and decide how we want to approach it. These questions can help us to sort out whether we are thinking of a problem we can solve, or worrying in an effort to avoid uncertainty. We can also connect to what matters to us, and choose actions consistent with those values. If our minds are filled with thoughts of injustice and harm to others, we may choose actions like activism and community solidarity. Instead of (understandably) rehearsing these outrages repeatedly, we can instead take an action to be of some benefit to those affected. If we are ruminating about harms to ourselves, we can decide what would be reparative or restorative for us, and choose those actions. We don’t have to choose the “right” thing—what’s most helpful is intentionally choosing something guided by our internal wisdom and our awareness of what’s important to us

Then we can return to paying attention to see how our chosen actions feel, and continue this cycle each time our minds get busy and take us away from engaging fully in our lives.